One of the most cherished memories that Frieda and I shared as kids was of my grandmother’s beautiful white Christmas tree, adorned with silver and crystal ornaments and small diamond-shaped mirrors that tinkled like chimes when you walked nearby. No one else we knew had a tree so brilliant. Visitors to the house oohed and aahed, leaning in close to see their reflection in the mirrored branches. We were always very proud.
Today her precious tree, so fragile and so deeply loved, is collecting dust in a box somewhere in a garage. A few days ago I panicked realizing this. Both of my grandparents are gone now and the tree is not being used. It all feels very wrong. I miss those holidays, the silliness and drama of my extended family and the unexpected joys of being together. I had thought that these traditions would last, but now we are all scattered about and every conversation seems to begin with an apology: So sorry we can’t make it this year… Sorry I couldn’t afford a gift… Sorry I forgot to get my card in the mail…
But instead of feeling low or shedding any more tears, I am using this time to reflect on the realities of impermanence. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, as paraphrased: “You cannot step twice into the same river; for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you.” I won’t be able to see my grandmother’s white Christmas tree this year and, even if I could get my hands on those dusty boxes of ornaments, there is no way to relive the past. With each breath, though, I am already creating new memories with a wonderful husband, an amazing daughter, and of course, a special new tree. I want to be thankful for all that we have – even when what we have is the occasional nostalgia for the way things used to be – without hoarding and clinging to things that can’t last. As another great thinker wrote, “The only lasting truth is Change.” Being mindful of this truth compels me to stop and observe with deep appreciation the world around me right now. I don’t want to miss it!
Here’s wishing you a joyful holiday season filled with peace, compassion, and fresh waters of love ever flowing in upon you.
Posted by rhapsodyinbooks on December 24, 2009 at 9:58 AM
What wonderful thoughts. I love the quote from Heraclitus – so appropriate for these days of looking back.
Happy holidays to you and yours!!!
Posted by Claudia on December 24, 2009 at 8:49 PM
Thanks for stopping by, Rhapsody! And happy holidays to you!
Posted by susan on December 24, 2009 at 12:15 PM
Ah, Claudia, I tried to say as much but not as beautifully as you did. Like-minds.
Happy Holidays,
S
Posted by Claudia on December 24, 2009 at 8:50 PM
Like-minds, great minds, LOL!
Posted by Carleen on December 24, 2009 at 8:57 PM
Thank you for this post! Really hits home!
Posted by gone but not forgotten « Fledgling on December 25, 2009 at 11:13 AM
[...] 25, 2009 by elliottzetta I need to go over the The Bottom of Heaven and re-read Claudia’s post about letting go of the past and appreciating the [...]
Posted by elliottzetta on December 25, 2009 at 11:22 AM
Very timely for me, too, Claudia–thanks! May we all be mindful of our blessings, past and present.
Posted by Jean on December 25, 2009 at 1:19 PM
Claudis,
So appropriate for me as I think of days gone by. After reding this, I will look more closely at making new memories.
Posted by Claudia on December 25, 2009 at 1:26 PM
Thanks for stopping by, Jean! I hope you are having a terrific day.
Posted by Edi on December 27, 2009 at 4:41 PM
Claudia,
Very nice holiday reading. I like that river, with its shores of context, the same but different.
Sometimes aging can be a kick in the butt; sometimes it needs a kick in the butt!
Posted by Claudia on December 30, 2009 at 6:38 AM
Sometimes it DOES need a kick in the butt, LOL. I appreciate your comment, Edi!